


Escape from Flavortown

by LapisExilis



Category: Diners Drive-ins and Dives, Food Network RPF, Hell's Kitchen (US TV) RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Food, Hell, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 07:21:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17402516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LapisExilis/pseuds/LapisExilis
Summary: "Chef Gordon Ramsey's mission to escape Flavortown (a foodie hell-dimension) is interrupted at every turn by superpowered, malevolent entity Guy Feri, the master of Flavortown. Ramsey must outwit, and outcook Feri, in this spine-chilling horror-fantasy thriller."orIdiotic crack written at midnight





	Escape from Flavortown

Gordon Ramsey silently drifted through the endless dark kitchen of Flavortown. Dim florescent lights illuminated hundreds of chef's stations. Cookware handy for the cruel whimsy of a merciless tyrant. Ramsey shivered. But this was not a time to cower in fear of a demonic culinary fiend. Ramsey had one thing in his mind: ESCAPE.

____________

It had been three years since Chef Gordon James Ramsey had been imprisoned in Flavortown. Three long years. He remembers before all this like it was yesterday. He was in the kitchen of an inexperienced cheif, instructing them on technique. Lamb. He was preparing lamb when he was taken. 

"THIS LAMB IS SO RAW IT LOOKS LIKE IT SHOULD BE IN A MANGER WITH BABY FUCKING JESUS!" Ramsey shouted at the imbecile.

The cook reacted by dowsing the slab of meat in an abundance of oil, causing flames to emerge from the animal.

"PUT THAT OUT!" the cook exited the kitchen, assumably for a clean towel.

The lights flikered as soon as Ramsey was left alone in the kitchen. Before he could kill the fire himself he paused as something took form in the flames.

Eyes.

Gordon blinked. He should add gas leak to the growing list of health violations in this dump.

The red fire stretched upward into distinct yellow tips. The eyes glaring all the while. Ramsey jumped back.

A Hand.

In a matter of seconds a ring bedazzled, tattooed hand sprung from the flames and seized Ramsey by his chef's apron. Crawling for his freedom to no avail- Ramsey was dragged into the infernal blaze, leaving only an overcooked lamb chop.

____________

Bang!  
While reminiscing of freedom Ramsey had mindlessly knocked a spoon to the floor. He stopped dead in his tracks. A few moments passed in silence. It would seem he had remained undetected. But then --

"Do you really thing I'd let you escape Flavortown that easily?" Guy Feri appeared out of nowhere, a torpedo of cheese slices showering the sterile landscape of the kitchen. Feri's otherworldly lights perverting the already crude environment. Fire raging from every chef's station on cue.

Gordon Ramsey ducked, barely avoiding the lethal dairy. The took refuge behind a titanium table. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. 

This was it.

He had been caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 or no?


End file.
